The noise can be deafening. It surrounds us on a daily basis. Be it on social media or out in the real world (or some combination thereof), we are constantly exposed to how success is defined within our culture. It never seems to end; every grade, every performance, every opinion, every judgment reflects on your success - or so we are taught to believe. Even if you think you can avoid its grasp, much of our lives are spent having success defined for us - and rarely on our own terms.
Time and time again, day in and day out, we are faced with decisions based on value. For example, you’re out to buy a car. You’re examining issues such as performance, service cost, fuel efficiency, and the sticker price. Many wouldn’t hesitate to negotiate a price - based on the perceived value of the vehicle. That all makes good sense, yes? But then you require the services of a health care provider - and everything changes.
Life. The great human experiment, one that we all partake in. We are born with nothing, arriving by the seat of our pants, kicking and screaming. You didn’t even get to pick your parents; what is done is done. It's time to move on and make sense of it all. Here’s the irony layered on top of that - no owner’s manual exists for any of it. You don’t get a lesson on how to grow up, how to parent, how to grow old, how to deal with dying, or how to accept death. In perhaps a greater dramatic irony, we leave this place almost in reverse; the cycle of life takes us from children to adults - and back again.
As I approach the end of another calendar year, I reflect on what has passed, what I have learned, and what life presents me in the new year ahead. I have always thought that my birthday is a far more important time for reflection as it is, in fact, the start of a new year. However, as this year comes to a close I find great solace in the words of Sun Tzu from “The Art of War”. In my humble opinion, it is one of the most profound statements written.
Horses will do what horses will do. You’ve done your utmost best by walking alongside the student, the patient, or the family member to lead them to the proverbial water. In the end, they still refuse to drink from the fountain of your guidance, wisdom, and support. While this might provoke frustration or disbelief - or worse - we have many choices in what to do when the inevitable happens.
There are times when certain themes present themselves in our lives, repeat themselves, and make themselves readily apparent. It is almost like the theme is mocking you - hello, here I am, pay attention to me if you dare. Sometimes, you become acutely aware of these recurrent themes, especially when they appear across several layers of your existence. However, if you pay attention, you might learn something. That’s where I am right now.
I am convinced that it is one of the most powerful words in our vocabulary. Part of that stems from it serving as the foundation for inquiry and understanding. However, it can also be perceived as one of the most controversial we can utter, depending on the context in which we utter it. Trust me, I use it often, and I’ve experienced both responses. The word? Why.
Allan Besselink, PT, DPT, Ph.D., Dip.MDT has a unique voice in the world of sports, education, and health care. Read more about Allan here.