The Conundrum Of Love

Love. The mere mention of it conjures up images of Valentine’s Day – or vice versa. It is an integral part of the human condition, male and female, rich and poor, black and white.

Describing the feeling of love is inherently difficult. The love shared by two people can be indescribable, and delightfully so. You may have experienced it, felt it, reveled in it, and yet still have no earthly way to put it into words or expression of any form. Countless artists, writers, poets, and sculptors have attempted it throughout history. Some have succeeded. Some have failed miserably.

Last year, on this date, I posted an article entitled “365 Valentines A Year”. It is actually one of the most popular posts that I have written. In it, I discussed sharing love on a daily basis.

But is it possible to truly love someone else if we don’t love ourselves? Are we our own worst enemy in this search for love?

Love is an intangible element. Love might present itself differently at various times in our lives. It might find you wandering helpless, saving you from moments of fear or loneliness. It might come walking in when you're ready, and it might stroll by unannounced when you're not.

If we're fortunate, we've felt it shine down upon us. Maybe we bask in it, maybe we ache for it, maybe we crave it, and maybe we just wait patiently for it's arrival. Love is a many-splendored thing, and looks like so many different things to so many people.

But what if your self image, your comfort zone, prevents you from embracing that same love that you claim you desire? What if your self image simply won’t allow you to fully appreciate the object of your loving desires? Sadly, that same self image may contend that you aren’t worthy of such things.

In “365 Valentines A Year”, I noted that

“Maybe we really need 365 days of love a year … But love is something that really shouldn’t (and doesn’t) need a special day to celebrate. Sharing that love on a daily basis is critical and easily forgotten.

“Don’t lose sight of the beauty and wonder that love brings to your world, and how amazing it is to express that to someone else. If we all put a Valentine’s worth of love into the world every day, I can only imagine what it would be like.”

It is the conundrum of love, if you will. While looking elsewhere for love, it exists right there inside of us. But we limit ourselves in the process. In order to embrace the love of someone else, you must first be open to it. Then, you must nurture that self image that allows you to not only love yourself, but to then love the world beyond ourselves.

Perhaps, on this Valentine’s Day, we could all simply start with a moment to … love ourselves. A moment to acknowledge our own self-perceptions and our own self-image, regardless of how good or bad it may be. It is what it is, right here, right now. A moment to acknowledge our own self limitations and the challenges we pose for ourselves. We are the change we wish to be in the world. And then, another moment to be vigilant in expanding those same limits. The challenge of growth is huge – but the payback is tremendous.

Then – and only then – can we all embrace the love that we all so desire. Then we will be fully capable of “a Valentine’s worth of love into the world every day”.

What a wonderful world this would be.

Photo credits: daveparker