Rhubarb Report 064

The Madness is over. No more basketball marathons. Louisville cut down the nets in a epic final against Michigan - well, an epic 30 minutes at least. So now it's time to get back to reality. Or go into hibernation until college football season. Or both.

Oh, wait, the Stanley Cup playoffs are right around the corner, and it looks like the Toronto Maple Leafs might actually be a part of the festivities this year. The zombie apocalypse must be upon us. The Leafs haven't won the Stanley Cup since 1967, and their fans are becoming the hockey equivalent of Chicago Cubs fans.

So before I start the annual process of getting my hopes up for the Leafs, let's get moving on Episode 64 of the Rhubarb Report.

1. In case you missed it (and you cared), Tony Romo just signed a six year contract extension with the Dallas Cowboys worth $108 million. This makes him the the highest paid player in franchise history. This is the same franchise that has seen the likes of Troy Aikman and Roger Staubach under center.

For those doing the math, Romo is going to make $108 million dollars on the basis of his one - yes, one - playoff win in six seasons as a starter. Yes, you read that correctly. It would appear that mediocrity pays well in the NFL these days.

2. There is only one thing worse than lousy quarterbacks making huge salaries. It is lousy quarterbacks going from team to team and still earning a salary at all while good quarterbacks (with good records) are waiting for their phones to ring. Step to the front of the queue, Vince Young - ye of the 30 - 17 record as a starting quarterback.

Sure, Young has made his mistakes that he claims to be attempting to remedy. Debate that all you want. But is he really any worse than Kevin Kolb, or Kyle Orton, or John Skelton? Or any number of journeyman NFL quarterbacks who still have some semblance of an arm and somehow find a way to maintain a roster spot? At least Young had a phenomenal college career prior to making his way to the NFL.

Maybe someone will take a shot on Young this season. I still think that the right coach is going to get himself a winner.

3. Austin, you have made the big time. We are now officially a global community. How do we know? Is it because of Formula One? SXSW? Nope. We are now on the map of places that are at the end of a North Korean missile trajectory. Austin? Really? News reports would indicate that apparently we're on the same North Korean target map as Washington, Los Angeles, and Hawaii. Yet another top 10 list for Austin.

Speaking of top 10 lists for my fair city, it is now rated as the number one over-rated travel destination. Awesome. Maybe it will stop being trendy to hang out here, and we can get back to keeping Austin, well, weird again.

Oh, I can remember the days when Austin wasn't even part of the discussion. Those were the days. I sound like an old-timer ... after 23 years here now, I guess I am.

Photo credits: Wikipedia