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Learning From Loss

Sunday, 06 April 2014 20:50

water or tears?Wise men say that we won't face more adversity in life than we can handle. Wise men say that each moment of our lives prepares us to live life more fully today and tomorrow.

I can say that over the past few weeks, I have been a little hard-pressed to feel or truly appreciate the wisdom of the wise.

Loss. It is something that invariably and eventually appears in our lives. We will all experience loss in some way or another: a friend, a family member, a love. Loss makes an appearance in our world and can challenge us to the core of our being – but there is much to be learned.

It doesn't matter whom (or what) you've lost or how. It brings with it emptiness, a virtual hole in your heart that you feel won't ever fill in. The tears flow freely at first. Moments become hours. Hours become days. Maybe the edginess wears off quickly - and maybe it doesn't.

With any luck, the tears become intermittent, interspersed with moments of peace within. Until, of course, a thought or memory brings the groundswell of emotion back again.

There comes a time when we somehow manage to peer through the tears to reflect upon what was once an integral part of our lives. We can finally see how those past experiences made our life more vivid. Although we feel the pain today, we have had the beauty of the life experiences we shared yesterday, and the vibrancy of a future blessed with the reflections of this beauty. It moves forward with us.

Over the past week, I have been at a loss to describe the sensation of, well, loss. I've found myself challenged to understand why, to comprehend the wisdom of the wise, and to truly, deeply believe that that wisdom is there for the taking. As much as I understand intellectually, the reality of life moving forward and everything getting better eventually, it oftentimes fails to quell the angst within. I know the peace and tranquility of life will return, but it seems furthest from reality right now.

We try to learn from it and grow through it and simply be persistent in getting to that "better place" in the journey, hopefully more vibrant and transformed than before. But there is a not-so-subtle reminder that slaps you in the face repeatedly: we only have now. Right here, right now.

That's where the learning hopefully comes in. Don't wait until tomorrow to tell someone you love them, or that you appreciate them, or that their presence makes your world a better place. Don’t wait to do something tomorrow. Because you know what? The truism is simple: we only have now. The sooner we learn that, the better.

Photo credits: gre.ceres

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Allan Besselink

Allan Besselink, PT, DPT, Dip.MDTAllan Besselink, PT, DPT, Ph.D., Dip.MDT has a unique voice in the world of sports, education, and health care. Read more about Allan here.

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