One Day In February: Part Two

Get busy living. It was as simple as that.

For 17 days I was in a hospital room at the Children’s Hospital of Eastern Ontario – one of the best teaching facilities to be found anywhere in the region, if not the nation. I was under the care of highly-trained gastroenterologists that would lead me back to a world of health.

That’s the logical side of me speaking. For all intents and purposes, it felt like being in prison – or what I would imagine that feels like. Suddenly I was away from my family, my friends, and school. It was a long 17 days. There was a lot of time to wonder. And reflect. And mourn. And wonder some more. And think. A lot.

I wasn’t allowed to eat solid food for the duration of that time. Instead, I got all of my nutrition from a liquid meal replacement called Ensure. I consumed 10 cans of this every day, which amounts to about 400g of carbohydrate, 90g of protein, and about 2500 calories total.

The treatment of choice in those days was 60 mg of Prednisone daily – a steroid which would help to ease the inflammatory process and allow the bowel to function more normally. This would allow it to absorb nutrients. Over time, I was to experience many of the legendary side effects of steroids such as mood swings and fluid retention. Just take a look at my “before admission” and “after discharge” yearbook photos. Ah what lovely photos.

My parents came when they could of course, slogging the 73 miles through the snow to get there. As for friends, well, I learned a lot about friendships during these 17 days. I found myself saddened that those people that I really thought were my friends were really just fair-weather friends. Sure, they would be by your side – if the situation was convenient for them. But the flipside of the coin is that there were some people that I had never expected to materialize, and lo and behold, there they were. These are your true friends, your through-rain-and-snow-and sun friends.

In the midst of all this, I spent a lot of time alone. It is amazing what you can learn as a 15 year-old when faced with issues of life and death instead of issues of peer pressure, kissing on the first date, and what was in style. Once you’ve made that decision to “get on with living”, you then find that your perspective on the world changes immensely. You get a better understanding of what is truly important in life. You get to know yourself – and you know that deep inside, you’re just scared and hurt and afraid of the future. You learn that it is what it is. Nothing can change the past – but you can forge ahead.

After 17 days of Ensure they finally allowed me to start eating solid food again. I remember that first meal distinctly – veal. I can see it there on the plate. It meant that I was finally being discharged. “Hospital green” was behind me for a while.

Time heals all wounds, or so they say. In retrospect, and yes, hindsight is definitely 20-20, this became a life opportunity of sorts. It really was a profound opportunity to learn about myself, and to learn about others.

I have always believed that everyone has a story. Your story, or my story, or anyone’s story, may not seem exciting enough to share or worthy of a Hollywood screenplay. But I do know one thing: it will resonate with someone. They could be suffering a similar fate. It doesn’t have to be Crohn’s disease. That was just the catalyst. Maybe they are suffering from the loss of friend or family. They could be facing love lost or even divorce. They could find themselves mired deep in life’s challenges. They may simply be trying to find their way through this thing called life, trying to gain a better understanding of themselves along the way.

Maybe my experience helps someone realize that all is not lost. Maybe it is the realization that we define our lives, and events (good or bad) don’t define us. Maybe it is all about making a choice, and oftentimes facing that choice when it is darkest, before the sun rises.

Maybe it is all of that. And more.

Or maybe it is just one man’s journey that took a turn for the better on the 18th day of February in the year 1981. It was a day much like any other February 18, but its impact was not to be forgotten – even 31 years later.

Photo credits: jpdodd