Rhubarb Report: Episode 24

Another day, another straw poll, another winner. That appears to be the standard media report these days. Fortunately, the world is a wild and wonderful place that leaves people like me with plenty of news to ponder, even in the quietest moments. And yes, I just quoted Supertramp. What is this world coming to?

Without further adieu, onwards to Episode 24, where we will find bread crust, Aggieland, and parallel parking – all in the same report.

Transcription of Episode 24 (continued)

Item 1: Perhaps it has always just been a parental conspiracy. Perhaps our parents were intentionally trying to lead us astray. So did your parents ever tell you to eat the crust on your bread because it was the “healthy part of the bread”? Did you ever feel forced into eating it for those very reasons, along with green leafy vegetables and broccoli, even though there was a part of you that just didn’t want to do so?

Really now, is there any difference in nutritional composition from one edge of the bread to the center? Nope – it’s just been baked and exposed to heat more than the rest, which is what made it brown and hard. They were trying to pull the wool over our eyes, those crazy parents of ours. Nutrition? Yeah right. I am old enough now to see through their fiendish ways.

Seriously though, they did teach us to look both ways before crossing the street, and to say please and thank you. I guess they weren’t so bad after all.

Item 2: With all of the talk of the demise of the Big 12, you would think that it was just a bunch of lousy teams searching high and low for a new conference savior. That is far from the reality this year. The conference has a nation-best record of 26 – 2 in non-conference games. There are a nation-best 7 undefeated teams in the Big 12 as well. Why anyone thinks that dissolving this conference is the right thing to do is beyond me, and always has been.

With that said, we can now officially say goodbye to Texas A&M, who will become a part of the SEC in July 2012. Right before making the official announcement that they were heading to the SEC, they made quite a statement against Oklahoma State. Texas A&M were up 20 – 3 at half time, then stayed in the locker room for the second half, losing 30 – 29. If they think that greener pastures exist in the SEC, well, a little reality check should be upon them by about the second week in October. On their way to the basement of the SEC and more money along the way, it looks like they may also be walking away from one of the best rivalries in college sports. Oh those crazy Aggies.

Item 3: Let’s bring this one closer to home. I don’t know who had the brilliant idea to put diagonal, back-your-car-in parking on South Congress Avenue. I don’t quite know how it is supposed to decrease time, decrease traffic tie-ups, or anything of the sort. Let’s face it - most people in Texas have a hard enough time driving their car forward, let alone backwards. Now our city council is asking them to drive backwards, and to line it up between two parallel lines in the process, without taking the paint off the Mercedes Benz next to them. It has made one of Austin’s funkiest thoroughfares a traffic nightmare. But I digress.

Photo credits: Wikipedia