Rhubarb Ruminations: Episode 15

The world did not end on Saturday May 21. I repeat, the world did not end.

I am sure there were plenty who gave up most of their worldly possessions with the end of the world rapidly approaching. That would have made this past Monday a really rough start to the week. Time to get back to work and make a buck or two, I suppose. Everyone needs a little cash to get by until the “next” end of the world, currently scheduled for December 21 or something like that. Does that mean I won’t have to do any Christmas shopping this year?

In the meantime, the sporting world kept right on rolling, No-pocalyspe or otherwise. And as always, there has been more rhubarb than you could shake a syringe at. A syringe, you ask? Let’s get started on the next episode …

1. Was Sunday May 22nd the beginning of the end for Lance Armstrong?

Tyler Hamilton appeared on “Sixty Minutes” and put in his two cents regarding Lance’s supposed use of performance-enhancing drugs. Hamilton and Floyd Landis – two confirmed and convicted drug cheats that have lied in the past - have now spoken out against Armstrong. Oh, and by the way, they both have books for you to read as well. A little limited immunity granted for testimony never hurts either. Just a few minor asides, of course.

How much of this is sour grapes on the part of Landis and Hamilton? Now that both have watched their cycling careers implode due to drug use, are they simply trying to find a means to economic viability again? How credible are either of these men at this point in the discussion? How credible is “60 Minutes” anymore?

For those who care to read the other side of the discussion, I would suggest going to “Facts 4 Lance”, his Internet defense in the court of public opinion. There are the 500+ drug tests in his career without a single positive finding. But wait, didn’t Hamilton expose a cover-up of epic proportions from the 2001 Tour de Suisse? Let’s just say that an international conspiracy would have been required to pull that one off. The UCI has now adamantly denied these claims.

I could be completely wrong, and Armstrong could be the biggest doper of all time. Maybe all 7 Tour victories were just one big drug-enhanced lie. But at this point, I still believe in “innocent until proven guilty” – a novel concept these days, especially when you start with a witch hunt and work backwards from there.

What is perhaps the worst part of all of this is that the federal government is forging ahead with an investigation, regardless of the $55 million price tag for Barry Bonds’ measly obstruction of justice conviction. Your tax dollars hard at work, as they say. I would personally rather have my tax dollars go towards Rhubarb Item #2 …

2. … another federal investigation, but this one is delving into college football and the BCS. The Fiesta Bowl’s scandal cost them a paltry $1 million. It may sound like a lot, but that is a mild slap on the wrist for the industry that is the BCS. And the game goes on.

But it gets even better. Mark Emmert, NCAA President, told the Justice Department that

“the NCAA has no role to play in the BCS or the BCS system”

followed in the same breath by

“there is no directive to establish a playoff.”

I can’t make this stuff up. Really, I can’t. Hilarious. Isn’t the NCAA ultimately responsible for all of its sports? They seem to have a pretty significant directive for all of the other National Championships in all of the other collegiate sports.

3. And in the category of “surely, you jest”, ABC pre-empted the third episode of “Jamie Oliver’s Food Revolution” and in its place gave us – the “Dancing With The Stars” results show. What they haven’t told you is that it is sweeps month and Food Revolution has dropped in the ratings by nearly 40 percent. Any chance that the LA Unified School District has put a little heat on ABC as well?

I can only imagine that the US viewing public is so much better off watching Kirstie Alley dance than they are learning some effective means of addressing obesity in our youth and decreasing our health care expenditures for the next 50 years. Just sayin’ ...

Photo credits: Wikipedia