Rhubarb Ruminations: Episode 11

It is one of my favorite movie quotes – and now I finally get to use it here. It is attributed to one Nigel Tufnel, lead guitarist for Spinal Tap. When discussing his guitar amplifiers, Nigel notes that “these go to eleven”. And now, Rhubarb Ruminations “go to eleven” in true Tufnelesque fashion.

Episode 11 is another fine mix of some of my favorite topics: music, politics, health, and, in the spirit of March, basketball. Sit back, relax, ponder and chuckle!

1. With music on my mind, let’s sing a belated happy birthday to none other than guitar virtuoso Ry Cooder - who just recently had a birthday on March 15 (the Ides of March, I might add). I know it’s a few days late, but better late than never, no? Cooder is, in my humble opinion, one of the most phenomenal guitarists on the planet. Cooder’s impact on my own musical world is indescribable – and merits a full post of its own (coming soon to a blog near you). Cooder definitely takes slide guitar to an eleven on a ten point scale.

For those who enjoy movies, you’ve probably heard some of his sound tracks (including “Paris, Texas”, “Crossroads”, “The Long Riders” and “Last Man Standing”). For those who are into world music, then you have probably heard “Buena Vista Social Club” – a production that he was intimately involved in.  Happy Birthday, Ry – come back to Austin, please, so I can witness your epic slide guitar once again.

2. Where better to find good rhubarb than, well, Texas politics?

Governor Perry is making many sane voters wonder why they ever went through that brief moment of insanity when they were in the voting booth voting for him.

Why didn’t Perry discuss the budget shortfall in the lead-up to the last election? Because he didn’t have any solutions. Why didn’t he debate Bill White in the process? Because he didn’t have any solutions – and White did. But he sure was/is good at glad-handing everyone and letting them know that Texas really is a great place to live.

Woohoo. Thanks for the solutions, Governor.

Current budget proposals would leave public education about $9 billion short of funding required. That amounts to about 100,000 public school employees being laid off. Yes, you read those numbers correctly. So after choosing to cut money from the realm of education, he then stated that he’s not making the teacher cuts and staff layouts – the school districts are. To simply wash his hands of this issue is inexcusable. Not surprising, but inexcusable nonetheless.

3. Did you know that at Seton Hospital now, you can check-in online (much like an airline) for an emergency room visit. However, it will cost you $4.99. You are guaranteed a 15 minute wait time or your money is refunded.

The concept of check-in sounds great. But I could log in at 4:30, and the system could tell me  that I will be seen at 8:00. If I then wait 3.5 hours, and my wait time is another 15 minutes, do I really care if I get that money back?

If the health care system is revamped first and foremost, patients won’t have to use the ER in the first place, for anything more than a true emergency – when 15 minutes really does make a difference!

I guess it’s just another creative way for hospitals to drain more dollars out of consumers, and to provide a better “service” within a system that is broken from the start.

4. Since it’s March Madness, let me put in a shout-out for “The Fab Five”, the most recent documentary to come out of ESPN Films. This documentary is as fabulous as the group that it features.

I grew up watching college basketball, and I remember the Fab 5 very well. Sure, they could play basketball, and yes, having 5 freshman starters was incomprehensible back in the day when high school players couldn’t jump directly to the NBA.

But this was more about the social ramifications than anything else. Baggy trunks, bald heads, trash talking, and a hip-hop, inner city edginess pushed them into the social stratosphere. What is hard to believe is the degree of animosity they generated within UM alumni. What is hard to comprehend is that in 1992, racial slurs were still as prevalent as they were. And in the midst of it all, we were exposed to the 800 pound gorilla in the room – that of under-the-table money in college sports.

Fast forward to 2011 – and Steve Fisher, coach of the Fab 5, is now the coach of San Diego State University. They are in the midst of their first Sweet 16 appearance, almost two decades after the Fab 5.

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Finally, for all of those fans of “This Is Spinal Tap”, I present to you the dialogue that generated Tufnel’s infamous quote. If you are a musician or music lover and this dialogue doesn’t make you laugh, I don’t know what will. Enjoy!

Nigel Tufnel: The numbers all go to eleven. Look, right across the board, eleven, eleven, eleven and...
Marty DiBergi: Oh, I see. And most amps go up to ten?
Nigel Tufnel: Exactly.
Marty DiBergi: Does that mean it's louder? Is it any louder?
Nigel Tufnel: Well, it's one louder, isn't it? It's not ten. You see, most blokes, you know, will be playing at ten. You're on ten here, all the way up, all the way up, all the way up, you're on ten on your guitar. Where can you go from there? Where?
Marty DiBergi: I don't know.
Nigel Tufnel: Nowhere. Exactly. What we do is, if we need that extra push over the cliff, you know what we do?
Marty DiBergi: Put it up to eleven.
Nigel Tufnel: Eleven. Exactly. One louder.
Marty DiBergi: Why don't you just make ten louder and make ten be the top number and make that a little louder?
Nigel Tufnel: [pause] These go to eleven.

Onwards to Episode 12!

 

Photo credits: Wikipedia