The Aftermath Of Lance

The Lance Armstrong interview with Oprah Winfrey is now officially a part of history. Two nights, millions of viewers - and just as many opinions on the decade-long fiasco.

I will be the first to admit that I was an Armstrong supporter. I found myself inspired by his story. I read both his books. I wore a yellow wrist band. I was proud that he called Austin home. I even wrote 4 posts, in support of him in one way or another, as recently as July 2012.

Well, the truth is now well and truly out of the bag. And I admit, I was wrong, blatantly wrong, about Lance Armstrong. Consider this my apology to the blogosphere and to you, the reader. I stand corrected.

There were many of us that were wrong about Lance Armstrong. And that's okay. There is much to be learned from the aftermath of Lance, not just about performance-enhancing drugs or sport, but about life and the culture we live within.

As a preface to the impending thoughts, nowhere in this post am I maintaining that what Armstrong did was right - either as an athlete or as a human being – nor am I defending him whatsoever. Far from it. He is only beginning to pay the price for decisions that he, and he alone, made. He may never regain trust. He may never repair relationships, or make rights out of wrongs. We may never know the full breadth of the damage, nor the effects on countless human lives and legacies. Only Armstrong will fully know.

In the meantime, here are a few diverse thoughts on the saga.

Public expectations: In many ways, Armstrong is like the boyfriend or girlfriend or spouse that walks out on us. The love affair is over. He betrayed our trust in his athletic prowess and celebrity and intentions, and now we are left with the emotional scars of a sad ending. The truth hurts, especially when you find out that he wasn't all that many (self included) thought he was. We chose to be a part of that love affair, which is what makes it that much harder now. That still doesn't make any of it right. But we need to learn from the experience, grow, and move forward.

A product of our culture: The lies and deceit have done a lot of damage to many. Sad, but true. However, this isn't the first time that this has happened in our culture. It is as though we suddenly forgot all the celebrities that have crawled over countless people or broken ethical rules to get to the top. Armstrong will go down in the same books. Oh how quickly we forget about the Michael Vicks, Barry Bonds, and Tiger Woods of the world - or any number of athletes and/or celebrities who have made similar choices along the way.

There are a lot of people casting stones in his direction - and granted, I understand why. In times like this, we want to turn our heads in revulsion at the professed monster that we see explaining himself on national TV. But before you start pointing fingers – consider this: we have cultivated this mentality in our culture from the moment of birth. The importance of fame, fortune, stardom, and most importantly - power. Oftentimes, our culture has been known to hold these in higher esteem than personal integrity. Our culture has played a role in all of it, whether we like it or not.

Win at all costs: Armstrong mentioned that this "win at all costs" mentality is what helped him through cancer and throughout his cycling career. This I understand. I have been lying in a hospital bed asking the question, "do I let this get the better of me, or do I beat it?". Ask a cancer survivor, and let them tell you about the elemental changes in life perspective that takes place. While you are at it, ask any athlete at the top of his or her game, and I am sure you will find that a similar attitude is prevalent. Frankly, if you are on Alpe D'Huez with a group of riders on your wheel, you have to know, deeply know, that you are the best, and that you will go deep enough inside you to win. Whatever it takes.

But whether you have that burning desire on a bike, or Wall Street, or lying in a hospital bed, the desire to excel can also be used for forces of evil. This can be a hard balance point for many to find - on the bike, or in the boardroom.

Human performance does not depend on drug use: From an athlete perspective, what may be worst about Armstrong's saga is that the culture continues to need to believe - deeply - that performances like this require doping. I strongly disagree. But more on that in another upcoming post. Suffice it to say that when you build a house on the quicksand of faulty assumptions, the second and third stories topple over pretty easily.

The humanity of it all: Say what you will about his remorse (or lack thereof), pass judgment on his ability (or inability) to make amends, and grumble about his unsightly marketing machine or perceived lack of sincerity. I am not really sure what people expected from the Oprah interview in terms of these things. He apologized - repeatedly. How many times saying "I am sorry" will ever be enough? What specific tone of voice will ever signify that he was truly "sorry"? I certainly don’t know.

Apparently, the interview I witnessed was counter to many other opinions. What I saw was a man, like many before him, that struggles with power. He struggles with control. He struggles with his own self-perception. He wages his own inner battles - perhaps unsuccessfully, perhaps not - like we all do. Armstrong accepted responsibility for the decisions that he made. That doesn't make them acceptable - far from it. It doesn't change the past. He is human and he has his failings as we all do, failings that are magnified by his role in society and in our culture. Maybe that is just one of the lessons that we can all learn from the aftermath of Lance.

Hope for the future? What we can hope - for Lance Armstrong, or for anyone else, for that matter - is that he learns from the path he has taken so that he can become a better person in the future. It isn't my place to judge his success or failure in that realm. I suspect that with time and the realization of the emptiness that surrounds him, the stillness of a world without many who supported him, he will come to see the importance of it all. Or not.

Let's hope that he can make it right within himself, so that he can make it right with others. Isn't that a good lesson and reminder for all of us?

Photo credits: Dawn Huczek